By Osoro PJ. Nyawangah
When a crisis occurs, life is thrown into turmoil and it is not possible to establish a secure belief base. Faith can became vulnerable. Traditionally, people have struggled with expressing emotions and have failed to allow themselves to grieve. The left need to be seen to be victorious, get in the way of being human, thus grief is repressed and inner healing is denied. This can and lead to physical illness, emotional conflict and spiritual stagnation.
Grief is the raw, ragged, painful response, experienced when someone or something of value is taken away. It is intensely painful and uniquely personal. It is more than sadness, sorrow, anger and tears. Grief is a deep- seated pain that engulfs the total being; the emotions, the mind and the body.
Grieving is the natural way of working through the loss of love, it is not weakness nor absence of faith. The state is as natural as crying when you are hurt, sleeping when you are tired or sneezing when your nose itches: It is nature’s way of healing a broken heart.
Loss and grief flow from many of the events of daily living and often go unrecognized and in appropriately resolved. A life-threatening diagnosis such as HIV/AIDS, cholera etc., failed pregnancy, broken marriage, an accident or unfulfilled career plans, trigger responses that manifest themselves as GRIEF. The loss of job, money or friend ship gives rise to frustration and sadness
The following are four categories of lifetime losses;
This applies to each change experienced between birth and the grave i.e. Starting school to retirement.
2- SEPARATION LOSS:
This category covers major separation from people by death or destruction, it applies to the loss that occurs as a result of flood, earthquake etc.
3. DEPRIVATION LOSS:
Applies to those experiences where for reasons beyond a person control, they are deprived of something they might legitimately expect to have i.e. family, education, relationship etc
4. EXPECTATIONAL LOSS:
This is experienced when ambition, hopes and dreams are unfulfilled; many parents experience this category regularly when their children choose values and lifestyle that differ to those taught them during their growing year.
Nevertheless, it is possible to experience bereavement in one or more of the above categories at the same time.
A bereavement event automatically places the people in the process of mourning. This follows an unknown time span and has rehabilitation as its goal.
And here we focus on the four specific responses that need to be monitored:
1. -Feelings of intense emotion: these repeatedly surface and subside only to reappear when least expected; they include felling of sadness, fear, anger, guilt, panic and restlessness.
2-Thoughts: At this stage the grieving are encouraged to listen to the way they think and verbalize the why, the how and the if only. We go back to the event, the funeral and to the doubts. We speak of the inability to remember, to concentrate and function.
3-Behaviours; death involves people in a program of doing what they never done before, from making arrangement for a funeral to learning to live without the deceased. They may respond during the grief period with; aggression, withdrawal, extreme activity or complete fatigue.
4-Health: In the duration, health and well being often go unnoticed. Research shows the immune system is lowered during the process, so healthy monitoring is encouraged. And time should be taken to convalesce.
Rehabilitation is the GOAL; there does come a time when the clouds begin to lift and the sun start to shine again, take courage!