By Deanne Repich, National Institute of Anxiety and Stress, Inc.
-- Genuine control is not something lost or gained according
to what someone else says, does or thinks. It is within me
in abundance at all times.
-- Genuine control is not about trying to make people like or
love me. It's about liking and loving myself and allowing my
inner beauty to shine through.
-- Genuine control is not something that comes from
manipulating the external environment - other people, events,
and circumstances. It comes from changing my internal
environment - how I perceive and act.
-- Genuine control does not result in feelings of powerlessness,
anxiety, and self-doubt. It results in feelings of empowerment,
contentment, and increased self-esteem.
-- Genuine control does not drag me down. It lifts me up.
-- Genuine control does not come and go depending on how
I'm feeling at the moment. It is within me at all times, even if
I choose not to realize it or use it.
-- Genuine control does not mean attempting to make others
do things my way and think the way I want. It means making
my own choices and thinking for myself.
-- Genuine control does not mean looking outside of myself
to determine who I am. It means looking within myself and
appreciating who I am.
-- Genuine control does not mean single-handedly transforming
economies, business climates, and political realities. It
means transforming my internal reality (myself), which in
turn positively affects the whole.
-- Genuine control is not about predicting the future - my
grades, my income, my relationships, or a thousand other
things. It's knowing that whatever happens I can choose
how to perceive and react to life's events.
-- Genuine control does not mean trying to change someone
else's feelings. It means that each person's feelings are his
or hers alone, just as my feelings are mine alone.
-- Genuine control does not mean never making mistakes.
It means understanding that making mistakes (and learning
from them!) is essential to my success.
-- Genuine control is not about feeling the need to change
other peoples' preferences and opinions. It means developing
and respecting my own.
-- Genuine control does not mean attempting the impossible
and feeling disappointed that I did not achieve it. It means
attempting the possible and congratulating myself on each
small success I achieve.
-- Genuine control does not mean telling others how to spend
their time. It means choosing how I spend my time.
-- Genuine control does not mean other people, events, and
situations determine my feelings, thoughts, and actions. It
means that I choose how to feel, think, and act.
-- Genuine control is not about trying to stop the rain, the
snow, or the sunshine. It's about making rainbows,
snowmen, and sand castles. :)
-- Genuine control is not about attempting to change what
other people think, do, and feel because I know what's best
for them. It's about deciding how I react to what others think,
do, and feel because I know what's best for me.
-- Genuine control does not mean controlling all of life's
events. It means interpreting life's events in a way that
promotes my growth, happiness, and well-being.