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Holisticonline.com

Dating, Relationship and Marriage Advice
by Ernest Quansah

Fortune 500 companies have a method they use to achieve success. This method allows the company to find the appropriate managers and staff, people who can make the company very successful. They hire the right people, only after going through hundreds of applicants to find the best person for the job. They do not just pick any one who is looking for work and a pay check, but a specific individual who will be the right match for their company. If this process were applied to a relationship or marriage, the chosen person would likely be thought of as your soulmate. I have taken this very important and indispensable foresight and applied it to the advice I that I offer to single people and couples alike.

Let me give you a brief overview. In all level three companies, when they put out an ad looking for new people, the very first thing they do upon receiving all the responses is to look through the resumes to make sure the applicant responded to the ad as he or she was required. For example, if the ad required the applicant to include a cover letter with their resume, any applicant who failed to include a cover letter has their resume automatically dropped into the trash bin. In the dating world, this will be just like selecting people with a true potential for a relationship and forgetting about the rest. I want you to pay a close attention from here on so you can appreciate the point I am making. During the final interview, a critical question is put before the prospective new hire. The interviewer will ask the question, “Why do you think we should hire you?” This type of question has a very powerful effect on the prospective employee’s future with the company. It also allows the company to learn what the new hire will be able to contribute to the company’s success, in exchange for what the company will be contributing to the person if he or she is hired.

So, you might ask, what does all this got to do with dating, relationship and marriage? When a person asks you for a date or a relationship, ask yourself some very important questions. You must make sure the date or relationship will be worth your investment of your time and more importantly, your emotions. Just like an employer, you may have several people who may ask you for a date or a relationship. It is within your power to select a person who fits the requirements of what you need. Ask yourself if there is a real potential for the person to be worth your effort? Once you have selected the person whom you feel will be an appropriate mate, you may ask the person why he or she feels you should go out, have a relationship or marry --- depending on what stage you are at in your relationship. This could trigger an unpleasant response from the person, but it is a powerful tool in the process of finding your special someone. The idea here is to assess if the person is able to contribute any thing positive or if the person is able to nurture a successful relationship or marriage. What I am suggesting is nothing unusual. Upon asking the question, you should be willing to respond to the same question if your significant other wants to know the same. In giving as well as receiving, you are able to preserve the balance in the relationship. It is not just about what you want from the other person, or what the other person wants from you. You are a couple and what is important to one should be important to both. People usually believe they know what they want from a relationship or marriage, long before they ask the question of their love interest. If you are approached by your significant other with a question of taking your relationship to the next step, then you should respond with your own interests in mind. You are a human being --- you should look out for your happiness as well.

When companies ask a person why the person thinks he or she should be hired, the psychology behind asking such a question is that it puts the prospective staff or manager in a position that the person must deliver on his or her word if hired. In a relationship or dating situation, this makes the person aware of his or her promise to you, thus if the person begins to deviate, lie or cheat, you have good reason to end it before it goes too far. Assuming a person tells you he or she is kind, loving, respectful, faithful and so forth, the person will know that when he or she is selected, he or she must deliver or lose the relationship or marriage. Do you see the psychology at play here? As a final consideration, if a level three company offers you employment, they will expect you contribute to the company’s success, just as you indicated during your interview. They will then contribute to your success as they indicated to you --- such as with wages, teaching you how the company works, and so forth. Just as it is a good idea to employ these techniques in your job, it is also a good idea to use these techniques to get the most from your dates, relationships and spouses.

MY ADVICE: Relationships, dating and marriages are just like working within a good company. It is about selecting the appropriate partner for your venture. It is about what the company must do to make the company a safe and secure place to work. It is about what you can contribute to make the company successful, so that each day you know that your job is still there for you. As in business, you should seek advice in relationships from those people with the know-how, the skill and talent to help you succeed.

See Also:

Discerning The Loving Heart
It really doesn’t take long to discern the loving heart once you have compassion for yourself, trust your perceptions, and accept your lack of control over others. People betray their intention to either give love or to get it, or to give to get, with everything they say and do.

Relationship Issues: She is Ashamed of Him
Both are cheating and both are miserable. Neither wants to cheat and neither wants to separate, but both are being controlled by needs greater than their wishes. They both seek affirmation of their self-worth.

How To Heal Your Heart
We all experience severe heart break at some time in our lives. For many it happens in childhood or adolescence, the time when we are most vulnerable.


©2003 All rights reserved.

Ernest Quanah, Relationship Advisor and founder of "Soulmate Infoserve," a website dedicated to those who seek Relationship Advice online. Ernest is the author of "How To Identify Your Soulmate", a relationship and dating advice ebook/manual designed for singles, couples and interracial lovers. For Free Dating Advice please Visit http://www.soulmateinfoserve.com

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