by Jacquie Hale
Deliberate Attraction I’ve known about the law of attraction ever since I said to my kids, “Don’t spill your milk,” and one of them did. I noticed how that worked. I also noticed that when someone was really sure he or she could accomplish something, it usually happened.
The best example I can give of the law of attraction is when I was a free-lance writer. While doing my first contract, I was concerned about how I would get the next gig. The jobs were hardly uniform. They could overlap in ways that make freelancers miserable—or so I heard. Luckily for me, my second contract came just as I was finishing my first. And then the third came with equally auspicious timing. From then on, I believed that I could get the next contract whenever I needed it and that’s how it worked for me for 15 years.
As I was coming to the end of a project, I would think, “Hmmm, I guess it’s time to look for the next project.” That very day, maybe even that hour, the phone would ring and a possible new project would be offered. It became so common that after a few years I began to count on the next project showing up right on time. I never even thought about it! While I was a freelance writer and I never had a day off that I didn’t want. That’s some attracting, considering that I never advertised, I never read or answered a want ad, I didn’t attend networking events, and I didn’t have an agent. This was the law of attraction, in action.
The law of attraction says you get what you put your energy and focus on whether you want it or not. That wanting it or not is important. If you think, “I’ll never finish on time,” you probably won’t. But if you think, “I’ll find a great parking place right in front,” you probably will. It’s all a matter of what you believe. Did you ever notice that once a runner broke the 4-minute mile or an ice skater accomplished a triple jump that several others accomplished similar feats? It’s because they finally knew it was possible. They believed they could do it.
How many times have you had a big goal and heard your Inner Critic say, “It’s never gonna’ happen.” For example, you may set a goal of losing 50 pounds in the next six months and every time you say that to yourself or tell a friend or colleague, you get this inner twinge of doubt. (“Diets never work.” “I don’t have will power.” “Everyone in my family is fat.”) Well, if that inner twinge is bigger than your wanting, you’ll get what you are afraid of: not losing the weight.
The way your life is now is the way you have chosen it to be. Yes, warts and all. What you've got is what you have given your energy to. So, if what you have is a shortage of money, then you’ve been putting energy into the idea “there isn’t enough money” or “I hope we don’t run out of money!” The good news about all of this is—you can change what you give your energy to! That’s what Deliberate Attraction is all about.
Steps to Deliberate Attraction The steps in this process help you get really clear about what you want and then give you some help with dealing with doubt and combating that Inner Critic.
- State what you want.
- Create a vision of your wish.
- Allow it to manifest.
State What Your Want
Identify what you want to attract. Just do this generally. State a topic, such as discovering the ideal life partner, creating abundant lifetime finances, having great health, writing a book, finding the perfect house, etc. I firmly believe the law of attraction works best when what you want is somehow in service to others.
Create a Clear Vision of Your Wish
State what you want clearly and exactly. In some cases, you can list all the things you want (handsome, rich, kind, fun, interested in travel, etc.) At other times you will know more about what you don’t want (long hours, horrendous commute, unreasonable boss, cranky associates, low pay, stressful deadlines). If you start with what you don’t want, you can use the negative to get great clarity about what you do want. For example, “I don’t want a long commute” can become, “I want to work within a 10 minute drive of my home.” End up with the positive characteristics of what you do want—be sure that everything is stated as a positive. Then imagine you actually have this wish. Create a scene from a play in which what you want has actually happened. Make it as detailed as possible.
Allow it to Happen
When you get a twinge of doubt or your Inner Critic is shouting in your ear, take action to change your attitude. This can be a mental or physical activity that crowds out your doubts. Go for a hike, ride your bike, play chess, do a puzzle. Always consider doing something you totally enjoy. Do whatever it takes to distract you from the doubting voice. You can even tell that voice to be quiet.
An excellent way to counteract your doubt is to be in appreciation. You might do it by just noticing all the beauty around you or you could start an appreciation journal. As I organize myself every morning, I write down what I appreciate from the previous day. That way I get to love it once and then love it again when I remember it. Follow through with what the universe delivers. At first, when I heard of Deliberate Attraction, I thought it meant that all I had to do was think positively about what I wanted and the Cosmic Waitress would deliver it. Later I learned that the waitress provides the ingredients and opportunities for me to get what I want but I have to put the package together.
Every step of the process is vital to the success of your attraction. May you attract everything you need to create a life worth living.