by Kerry-Ann Cox
“Your purpose is something you want to do and do because it expresses who you
“Nothing changes until you get to the truth.”
I stumbled across these two quotes the other day and they hit a nerve and brought up a number of questions and thoughts, the most important one being “What is my truth and what I want to do?”
To get what you want in life you have to be very clear about what it is you want without any doubt or conflict in your mind. Doubt and conflict will trip you up every time causing all sorts of sabotage problems.
It is very easy to confuse what we think we want with what other people think we should have. Believes and opinions about life come in from external sources. It might be that certain things are considered a social norm and so we may feel pressure to confirm without even realizing it. Or it could be that our desires are really the desires of our parents or partners.
For example as a single, thirty something, never-married female I feel certain social pressure to find a partner and settle down. For years I felt a little like a failure
because I did not have a steady partner in my life. I took on this external pressure and thought it was my own. But when I am calm and centered and being totally honest with myself and in touch with my truth I know that having a partner is not what I truly desire.
Many spiritual masters tell us that when we truly know what we want then the universe will make it happen for us. So if you don’t have what you want you need to really examine your motivation behind the wanting. I know that everything in my life that I have totally and wholeheartedly wanted has always come to pass.
To find out the truth about this type of desire you need to be completely relaxed and centered One of the things I do when I want to examine where a desire is coming from is I take a few deep breaths and totally relax my body. I then picture myself totally alone on a mountain top, I drop away all external pressures and pretend that I have always been alone on this mountain top. I have never met another person so I cannot be influenced by any outside wishes, dreams, desires or social norms. Then I can discover if the want is really a deep seated personal one or not.
If you feel pressure from one person in your life in particular, it is important to drop them completely from your thoughts and pretend that you have never met them. You have most likely spent your life being influenced by those around you so it may feel scary to do this for the first time. Just keep taking deep breaths and centering yourself.
I repeat something like –I am all alone in the world, I have no pressure from anyone else – what is it that I really want. I say this a few times until a really feel that I have dropped the rest of the world from me and then I just look at a desire I have and see if it really fits with who I am and who I want to be.
Once you are clear about what you want it is time to put an action plan together and go for it.