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Holisticonline.com

Life with Mother
By Myriam Maytorena

Purpose serves as a principle around which to organize our lives.
Anonymous

I have always lived my life in a free, unfolding style. Pretty much insolated against those 9 to 5 schedules that can drive one nuts or at least drive me nuts.

Yet, I have been amazed how becoming a caregiver rather than a free spirit has positively changed my life.

On Mother's Day, my life changed 180 degrees. I went to visit my mother who was 97 on May 8 only to discover that she was in a situation that was not conducive to her well being. Not by intent but because of situations beyond control, I found myself preparing to take my mother to live with me. For the past 8 years my responsible Capricorn sister had been taking care of mom. She did a great job but as she grew older and her osteoporosis grew more debilitating her abilities to care for mom became less and less feasible. It was my turn to step up and assume some responsibility.

It is amazing how comfortable the decision felt to me. Truth is as the baby of the family most just thought of me as the butterfly that fluttered through life pursuing my bliss. I would not have been considered a candidate to be a 24/7 home health care provider for my mother.

I have worked out of my home for years as a writer and seeker of spiritual awakening. I am fairly reclusive except for my connection to my friends on the World Wide Web. Oh I have friends but they are neighborhood folk who are wonderful and supportive even though they also look at me as the eccentric of the community.

You cannot imagine the whirlwind of action that unfolded as Mark and I prepared to bring mother from West Virginia to the Blue Ridge of Southwestern Virginia. I stayed with Mother while Mark drove home to make it an elder-care residence. He busily moved my office to another room and reconverted my sloppy work space to a clean, lovely and light room to receive Mother. He replaced the ceiling; sealed the floor; painted the wall a beautiful blue. He carried books upstairs, emptied my 20 year collection of make-up from the bathroom, and generally made our house comfortable for a woman just a few years away from the century mark.

While our actions were impulsive they were well thought out before the event. What is so funny in my life is often times folks think that I act on impulse but the truth is I act on instinct. Usually I have been pondering an idea or issue for months or even years. And so it was with mother. I had felt her coming to us and her need for our care for a long time. In fact, Mark and I had even discussed that when the time came we would be able to handle the situation.

I knew that our lives would change in some ways but stay the same in many. In other words, Mark and I would have to adjust to Mother's needs but she would have to adapt to a life that is not quiet but is alive and vibrant. For her that learning to accept change was and continues to be a challenge. Mark said to me when I shushed him last night for being so loud. "Life is not quiet. It is loud."

Well he is right. Not only do we and our menagerie of fur family create novelty and noise in Mother's life, she creates some noise of her own.

A week ago today, Mother fell and had to go to the hospital. She had some compressed fractures in her spine, maybe some broken ribs, and definitely a bruised ego. Mother had gotten up in the night to go to the bathroom when her walker slipped and she fell. By the time she returned from an overnight stay at the hospital she went from being fairly competent at navigating our house with her walker to being bedridden and not able to walk.

Home Health Care Services in our area were very helpful and before you knew it Mother had a new hospital bed and appointments set up for visiting nurses and physical therapist. They were to contact us on Monday.

But last Saturday night Mother kept talking with someone in her room. I mean talk about creating some noise, she was having a regular all night encounter. I asked her who she was talking with and she replied that it was her nurse. I said, Mom, your nurse is not coming till next week. No, she insisted the nurse was here and since we were eating we should share some food with her nurse.

I asked Mom to describe her nighttime Florence Nightingale. She said that the nurse was dark skinned, not a colored person, but more like an Indian.

I asked her how tall the woman was and Mother said she was 5 foot 4.

I humored Mother and said it was probably her Guardian Angel helping her out.

Tuesday came and it was time for the visiting nurse. She was running a little late so by the time she arrived, I was preparing our dinner. I went to answer the door and imagine my surprise when I saw Wanda, Mother's nurse. She was dark skinned, partly Cherokee and maybe Melungeon. I asked her how tall she was and she replied 5 foot 4.

I smiled and welcomed her and said you are not going to believe this by Mother has been expecting you. She has met you before.

I took Wanda in and told Mom her nurse had returned.

Mark asked Wanda to join us for dinner but she had other calls to make.

As she left, I told her the story and how I had told Mother that she, Wanda, were Mother's Guardian Angel.

She gave me a hug, said she loved me, and said I don't know if I can live up to that task but I will do my best.

As you can tell Mother has given a new purpose and structure to my life. It is interesting to arrange things around her and to hear her stories and explore her dreams and visions.

I muse upon the idea of responsibility and becoming a care giver can help one become more spiritual and loving. From my childhood my mother gave me a vision of how to love unconditionally and now she has given me the opportunity to treat her with love and compassion.

Today: Listen to the spirit of those around you because within them you will find the magic of learning about love and life.

About The Author: 

Myriam Maytorena is the author of Spirituality: True Odysseys. It is available at Barnes & Nobel and other fine booksellers. ISBN: 0595262074 To read an excerpt go to http://arcanamatrix.com/spirituality.htm 
Just Released: Psychic Training by Myriam http://iampublishing.us a source for new age writers who want to do an ebook.

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