By Fran Hafey/Mysti
As long as I can remember, with my children and husband, when we
parted, I would not say good-bye, I would hug and kiss them and
always say "I love you."
I would tell them, that as sad as it may be, that when they walk
out that door, we may never see each other again. At least not in
this lifetime or realm.
I am happy to say, that even now, all my kids do the same thing.
As they are leaving, they always hug me, kiss me and say "I love
How do we know, that we will see them again? We have faith of
course, but how do you treat your loved ones? Do you take them
I have seen people that when they meet strangers, they are polite
and nice, exchanging pleasantries and then have seen them talk
horrible to their very own families.
Why is that?
Many say its because we can be ourselves in front of family and
that we are more at ease. Well, that's a horrible thing to say,
because if that's true, then who are we trying to fool if we are
rude to them and nice to strangers?
I agree, that I am able to express myself about many things to my
family that I may not be able to with others that I don't know. I
can share things and get things off my chest, but I never am
purposely mean or degrading. I've heard that many feel we can do
that because we feel that family will never forsake us because
they are family. Letting out our feelings is one thing, but being
nasty is another. Emotions are all a part of being human, but
that's not an excuse.
Recently, my Dad was hospitalized with a mild heart attack. This
had been happening a lot lately, but both times after he and my
Mom had taken trips to visit family and friends. They would drive
about ten hours, stopping to rest and then when they returned
home, my Dad would go in the hospital, having complications.
My Dad has had trouble with his heart on and off for years but
had been walking over six miles a day and eating a very sensible
diet and had stopped smoking twenty years earlier. He has
Rheumatoid arthritis, but he is a real trooper, never really
giving into it, but continuing to work hard and keeping the
homestead looking wonderful.
After many tests, finally, they did one that showed his heart was
ninety percent blocked and did immediate emergency surgery,
performing a double bypass to the heart.
In the time period he was in the hospital, which actually was not
very long, I never got to go visit him. The hospital was about
two hours or more away and two of my three sisters and brother
were there on and off with my Mom. We kept in contact, but
something just kept me from going to that hospital. All the years
he had been in, I had never gone to see him, not once. I always
waited until he was home and in a more relaxed environment.
This may have been a problem with me, but I know, years ago, I
made my peace with my Dad and I knew in my heart he would once
again come home, but I struggled with not visiting him.
When I did plan to go, when he got home, he was rushed back in to
have fluid removed from around his heart and his rhythm was not
Because of her own fear, my Mom said something to me, stating her
true feelings by saying "he is your Dad ya know and he is
important." I cried for days, because I had let my own
insecurities interfere with visiting my Dad and for what some
thought, might be the last time.
Finally, only another day and he came home and my husband and I
went to visit. When I walked in, I could not believe this was my
Dad. He seemed to have aged at least ten years and he was so
pale, even his hair seemed thinner along with his body.
I immediately hugged him, carefully, kissed his head and said "I
love you Dad." I was so glad to see him, not just for me, but for
him too, because apparently his fear had also wanted me to be
nearer to him at that time.
My spirit knew his spirit was ok. My family doesn't really
understand the depth of how much I believe in the spirit
relationship, but just the same, it woke me up to a few things
about visiting my Dad and how, just in case, I had not said "I
love you Dad" the last time I saw him.
I was happy to see him and love both my parents dearly and have
made my peace with their passing and my own. I know in my heart
and spirit that I will never really say good-bye, just "I love