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• If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
• Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
• Don't cut your hair. Ever.
• Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
• If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
• Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
• We need to get a feel of the TV remote at least once a week.
• Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
• Anyone can buy condoms!
• Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
• Shopping is not a sport.
• Anything you wear is fine. Really.
• You have enough clothes.
• You have too many shoes.
• Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
• The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
• Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
• Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
• Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
• Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
• Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
• Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
• Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
• Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
• Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
• Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
• All comments become null and void after 7 days.
• If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
• You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.