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Holisticonline.com

4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk

by Peter Murphy

The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops many of us from contributing more to discussions at work and when we are relaxing with friends.

And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get and the more likely we are to say something stupid.

Let us a take a look at some remedies:

1 Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.

I often talk about the importance of managing your emotions

 This is an essential skill.

There are a wide range of courses and books that you can refer to if you want to learn more about relaxation.

When you feel relaxed it is easier to think on your feet and to be flexible when you need to be.

2 Prepare Yourself

Before a social gathering get ready to have something to talk about.

With the internet on your PC there is no excuse for not becoming well informed about the world. The more knowledge you have the more conversations you can contribute to.

Make a point though of reading up on a variety of subjects otherwise your conversation topics will be limited to what interests you the most. And those topics may not interest your friends as much.

3 Become genuinely interested in other people

One of the big secrets to conversation power is to shut up! We are all a lot more interested in ourselves than in anyone else.

When there is a long silence encourage the other person to talk by asking questions and taking an active interest in the answers.

Take charge of the situation if you want the conversation to continue.

4 Stupid Statements Are Allowed!

If you say something stupid it is not the end of the world. If you try to hide your error then the situation can become chaotic very quickly.

It is far better to just admit that you made a mistake. Also, accept that even smart people say stupid things some times.

As long as you accept that you will make mistakes you have nothing to worry about. Expecting yourself to be perfect is unfair and just sets you up for failure.

All you need to do now is to decide how you will deal with these mistakes when they do happen.

5 Enjoy The Silence!

When there is a long silence in a conversation what normally passes through your mind? Do you judge it as bad? Do you feel under pressure to speak?

The other person has created the silence with you. Why not wait for him to speak first? Take the responsibility off your shoulders. It takes at least two people to have a conversation.

Finally, the reason silence can be uncomfortable is because you become self conscious. You become very aware of your own thoughts and feelings

There is one great way to deal with this. Put your attention on something outside of yourself by paying great attention to the other person and whatever is going on around you in the room.

Become fascinated by what you see and hear and you will forget about your own concerns.

See Also:

How to Solve Disputes with the Helicopter Talk Technique
Do you ever find that when a friend asks for your opinion on a problem it is a lot easier for you to see a solution than it is for your friend? And do you also find that sometimes you feel completely stuck when it comes to your own problems?

How to Turn Around A Sinking Conversation - 7 Tips
When a conversation is not working out there is the potential for massive frustration or a breakthrough depending on how you look at it.

How To Generate Massive Self-Confidence In Minutes
A new and powerful way to use supercharged affirmations to generate self-confidence.

Circle of Friends
A powerful inspirational story.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.

Think Positive
Be thankful for your blessings!

Don't sweat the little things!
Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated; God is at work watching over you.

Crossing the Line of Fear
Every human on earth at one time or another feels this "fear" and reverts back into their "safety" or comfort zone. The system was created to protect us in times of real danger but we must learn when danger is real or caused by our imagination of what may happen…again.

More Inspirational Articles

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. It is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

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