by Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC
Men argue with their wives for many reasons, but the most prominent one is
that there's a shortage of self-esteem buried underneath all of this arguing.
Since life is short, wouldn't men be better off to follow a few simple rules
and enjoy their time with their wives?
1. Be concerned with being kind
more than being right.
If you're kind to your wife and treat her very
well, you'll experience fewer arguments.
2. Develop the fine art of
keeping your mouth closed.
There will be many occasions when you'll want
to respond to a comment your wife has made that will be the invitation
to an argument. Take a hard swallow and notice that no argument
3. Talk with your wife about making the effort to
Have a specific plan in place that you both agree on
when it gets tense. If you both know the other is committed to improving,
it's easier to stay committed.
4. Raise your own standards.
kind of person do you really want to be? In view of how useless arguing is,
wouldn't you rather hold yourself to a high standard and spend time doing
5. Just walk away from the argument.
allows you some time to gather your thoughts and to cool down. When your
perspective is better you can continue the discussion from a more objective
6. Date your wife regularly
A lot of arguments result from
things that haven't been fully explored. It's crucial to have a way to
stay up to date and to create some kind of ritual that has the two of you
talking regularly. Show her it's important and she'll feel important and
7. Bend the truth now and again.
If it's between being
honest and being kind with your wife, be kind every time. You can tell her
the dinner is awful when she asks, but you increase the chances of
conflict. Smile and tell her it's delicious.
8. Compliment your wife
twice a day.
One of the major reasons for arguments between couples
is that people don't feel acknowledged. Acknowledge your wife regularly
and she'll feel appreciated. Appreciated people are less likely to
9. Know Your Triggers Around Arguing
with what comments and situations trigger your anger and argumentative
behavior. What are these about? Learn how you can avoid getting trapped
by them in the future.
10. Make yourself accountable for your
Have other family members hold you accountable for
your behavior. Tell them your working on improving and would they please
remind you if you're starting to argue again. This puts some teeth behind
Why Aren't We Happy In Our Marriage Relationships?
We somehow expect our partner to "know" what we are thinking
and feeling and then react and do the things "we think they should be doing"
at each and every situation and circumstance.
What Is Love?
was never needed to prove my undying love through a glorious act
of self-sacrifice. It was something I was required to do in little
ways, through one small act of kindness at a time. And that, I've
learned, is love.
Anger and Relationships
Conflict in relationships is normal; what separates successful couples form others is skills in handling disputes. These skills include interacting differently, improving
communication, taking appropriate actions, etc.
Surviving the First Year of Marriage - Creating a Successful Foundation
A successful Marriage as anything else in this world, begins with a good foundation. You are responsible for creating that foundation. I know it seems like it might be a bit of work and it can also be a lot of FUN.
The 50/50 Relationship: Does it Exist?
Many couples play the blame game when what they really need to do is