by Steve Goodier
Diane Ackerman said, "Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary,
yet no one agrees on just what it is." Over the years, I have been learning
what it is.
When I first got married, I wanted to show my love to my new
wife. I was drawn to romantic stories like one from the time of
Oliver Cromwell in England where a young soldier had been tried in
military court and sentenced to death. He was to be shot at the "ringing of
the curfew bell." His fiancée climbed up into the bell tower.
Several hours before curfew time and tied herself to bell's huge clapper.
At curfew time, when only muted sounds came out of the bell
tower, Cromwell demanded to know why the bell was not ringing. His
soldiers went to investigate and found the young woman cut and bleeding
from being knocked back and forth against the great bell. They brought
her down, and, the story goes, Cromwell was so impressed with
her willingness to suffer in this way on behalf of someone she loved
that he dismissed the soldier saying, "Curfew shall not ring
That must be love, I thought! That was the kind of commitment I
needed to make! I wanted to give my all. To tie myself to the bell for
her. To die, if necessary, for her. To sacrifice myself on the altar
of true love! I wanted her to know that I’d give it all up for
But she never wanted me to die for her. Never! Clean the
toilets, maybe, but never die. My commitment was to be shown in
household chores! (I read that an exhaustive study showed that no woman
ever shot her husband while he was doing dishes. What a relief.
Washing dishes may lack inspiration, but at least it's safe...)
never called upon to tie myself to the bell. But I was still called upon to
show my love - in little ways, mostly.
I was needed to comfort her before
we were married when the doctor told her she could never have children…to
hold her hand and tell her I wanted her more than I wanted a family.
was called upon to sit by her hospital bed after surgery and encourage
I was called upon to hold her after her father died and let her
I was also called upon to carve out alone time with her as often
as possible and to make sure my plans included her as well as me.
was never needed to prove my undying love through a glorious act
of self-sacrifice. It was something I was required to do in little
ways, through one small act of kindness at a time.
And that, I've
learned, is love.
Top Ten Ways to Avoid Arguing With Your Wife
Since life is short, wouldn't men be better off to follow a few simple rules
and enjoy their time with their wives?
Focus On The Joy
Instead of focusing on the
effort, FOCUS ON THE JOY. Focus on the people
and things that are most important to you. Focus on
the pleasure you get out of moving towards your
goals. Focus on the process of creating something,
not what results you expect.
Strength of Man
A thought provoking article about what is the true strength of man.
Humor. Classification of women according to computer nerds.
The Lost Chapter of Genesis
Humorous story. What you get for a rib.
Surviving the First Year of Marriage - Creating a Successful Foundation
A successful Marriage as anything else in this world, begins with a good foundation. You are responsible for creating that foundation. I know it seems like it might be a bit of work and it can also be a lot of FUN.
The 50/50 Relationship: Does it Exist?
Many couples play the blame game when what they really need to do is