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Holisticonline.com

What Is Love?

by Steve Goodier

Diane Ackerman said, "Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is." Over the years, I have been learning what it is.

When I first got married, I wanted to show my love to my new wife. I was drawn to romantic stories like one from the time of Oliver Cromwell in England where a young soldier had been tried in military court and sentenced to death. He was to be shot at the "ringing of the curfew bell." His fiancée climbed up into the bell tower. Several hours before curfew time and tied herself to bell's huge clapper. At curfew time, when only muted sounds came out of the bell tower, Cromwell demanded to know why the bell was not ringing. His soldiers went to investigate and found the young woman cut and bleeding from being knocked back and forth against the great bell. They brought her down, and, the story goes, Cromwell was so impressed with her willingness to suffer in this way on behalf of someone she loved that he dismissed the soldier saying, "Curfew shall not ring tonight."

That must be love, I thought! That was the kind of commitment I needed to make! I wanted to give my all. To tie myself to the bell for her. To die, if necessary, for her. To sacrifice myself on the altar of true love! I wanted her to know that I’d give it all up for her.

But she never wanted me to die for her. Never! Clean the toilets, maybe, but never die. My commitment was to be shown in household chores! (I read that an exhaustive study showed that no woman ever shot her husband while he was doing dishes. What a relief. Washing dishes may lack inspiration, but at least it's safe...)

I was never called upon to tie myself to the bell. But I was still called upon to show my love - in little ways, mostly.

I was needed to comfort her before we were married when the doctor told her she could never have children…to hold her hand and tell her I wanted her more than I wanted a family.

I was called upon to sit by her hospital bed after surgery and encourage her.

I was called upon to hold her after her father died and let her cry.

I was also called upon to carve out alone time with her as often as possible and to make sure my plans included her as well as me.

I was never needed to prove my undying love through a glorious act of self-sacrifice. It was something I was required to do in little ways, through one small act of kindness at a time.

And that, I've learned, is love.

See Also:

Top Ten Ways to Avoid Arguing With Your Wife
Since life is short, wouldn't men be better off to follow a few simple rules and enjoy their time with their wives?

Focus On The Joy
Instead of focusing on the effort, FOCUS ON THE JOY. Focus on the people and things that are most important to you. Focus on the pleasure you get out of moving towards your goals. Focus on the process of creating something, not what results you expect.

Strength of Man
A thought provoking article about what is the true strength of man.

Types of Women
Humor. Classification of women according to computer nerds.

The Lost Chapter of Genesis
Humorous story. What you get for a rib.

Surviving the First Year of Marriage - Creating a Successful Foundation
A successful Marriage as anything else in this world, begins with a good foundation. You are responsible for creating that foundation. I know it seems like it might be a bit of work and it can also be a lot of FUN.

The 50/50 Relationship: Does it Exist?
Many couples play the blame game when what they really need to do is compromise.

Steve Goodier is a professional speaker, consultant and author of numerous books. Visit his site for more information, or to sign up for his newsletter of Life, Love and Laughter at http://LifeSupportSystem.com.

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